Dec 6 10

A New, Free Resource to Help You Live Better and Have Happier Family Relationships

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nlj

Do you want to be happier in your life, improve your marriage, or find helpful ideas for raising your children? We all need credible information to strengthen our relationships, but it can be hard to find good information.

The University of Arkansas’s Cooperative Extension Service is offering you a new, free resource: Navigating Life’s Journey. You can sign up to receive weekly e-mails to help you improve your personal well-being and family relationships. The research-based ideas come from family life experts so you can trust that they are credible and will work in your real life. There will also be a practical suggestion of how you can apply the idea to your life.

The e-mails will be short so you can read them quickly during your busy day. If you want more detailed information on the topic, you can click on links in the emails. 

There will be three e-mail series running simultaneously. You can sign up for one, two, or all three of the series on these topics:

  •  Personal Well-Being
  •  Couples Relationships & Marriage
  •  Parenting

This site will not be used to try to sell you anything. Your e-mail address will not be shared with any other organizations. 

Sign up for Navigating Life’s Journey and join us as we explore how to have happier and more fulfilling personal lives and families!

Nov 10 10

The Truth About Anger

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You’re Not Alone

Haim Ginott, the parenting genius and author of several books, described our dilemma in the introduction to his classic Between Parent and Child:

No parent wakes up in the morning planning to make a child’s life miserable. No mother or father says, “Today, I’ll yell, nag, and humiliate my child whenever possible.” On the contrary, in the morning many parents resolve, “This is going to be a peaceful day. No yelling, no arguing, and no fighting.” Yet, in spite of good intentions, the unwanted war breaks out again. Once more we find ourselves saying things we do not mean, in a tone we do not like. [1]

In fact, those of us who are most vulnerable to anger may be those who have stronger emotions of all kinds. We love more passionately, we live more joyously. That is a blessing. But it must needs be that there is an opposite in all things. Along with the gift of fire (enthusiasm, passion, gusto, zeal), we have the challenge of channeling, managing, and training our fire.

Fire can warm and cook. It can also scorch and destroy. Let’s begin by trying to better understand anger.

The Assumptions behind Anger

Even as we violate our conscience by insulting those we love, it is quite possible for us to feel virtuous. We may think, “You are wrong or bad and I am helping you by straightening you out.” Consider some of the common assumptions behind most anger.

1. Anger is real. Anger tends to feel wonderfully authentic. “This is truth. I hadn’t seen it before. But now I do!” We discover that our child has stolen from a neighbor, hurt a sibling, or told a lie. We feel that flash of indignation. Suddenly it all makes sense. The child needs rebuke!
2. “I must be honest with you.” When we discover something awful, it seems as if we must deal with it immediately. We need to talk about it. The “truth” explodes from us. We can’t seem to keep it in.
3. “I must deal with anger by getting it out.” “With all this feeling inside me, if I don’t get it out, I’ll explode.” So I tell my child just what she has done wrong – in angry, indignant tones.
4. “After getting my anger out, I will feel better.” Most of us assume that the expression of anger is cathartic. “After I have fully expressed my indignation, I will feel relieved and peaceful.”
5. “After I’ve told you what’s wrong with you, you can do better.” It seems that our child has been blind to some truth that we have discovered. When we point out his error, he should be able to make better choices in the future.

Anger seemingly has all the satisfactions of a crusade: a worthy cause, plenty of emotion, an opportunity to make the world a better place, and a deep feeling of satisfaction.

Unfortunately for those of us who get angry readily, all of the five ideas above are almost entirely false. The crusade turns out to be a slaughter of innocents. The truths about anger are very different from the common beliefs.

The following is an excerpt from Wally’s article entitled: The Soft Spoken Parent:  Strategies to Turn Away Wrath.  To find out the truth about anger and how to help your children, you can follow this link to read the article in its entirety.

http://www.meridianmagazine.com/article/1999?ac=1

 

 

Oct 26 10

Latter-day Corrective – #5: Are We Not All Beggars?

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There are many ways the Book of Mormon seeks to rescue us from the latter-day philosophies of men. “For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect” (Matthew 24:24).

In the United States there is a very strong self-sufficiency ethic. We are much less likely than many other nations to provide for our families and our poor. That orientation is very good for invention and free enterprise. It has problems for Christianity.

We may convince ourselves that the government should not be in the business of caring for the poor. That may be true and it may not. I don’t see a clear scriptural mandate on that issue. The Lord does not tell us how it is to be done but he gives us no excuse for leaving it undone – whether through governmental or other means.

There are many ways the Book of Mormon seeks to rescue us from the latter-day philosophies of men. “For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect” (Matthew 24:24).

In the United States there is a very strong self-sufficiency ethic. We are much less likely than many other nations to provide for our families and our poor. That orientation is very good for invention and free enterprise. It has problems for Christianity.

We may convince ourselves that the government should not be in the business of caring for the poor. That may be true and it may not. I don’t see a clear scriptural mandate on that issue. The Lord does not tell us how it is to be done but he gives us no excuse for leaving it undone – whether through governmental or other means.

The following is an excerpt from a series of Articles written by Wallace Goddard in Meridian Magazine.  To view the article in its entirety, go to the following link:

http://www.meridianmagazine.com/article/1706?ac=1

Sep 29 10

Big Acts in a Small World

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“As mortals we tend to meet badness with badness. We reflexively become filled with petty jealousy, anxiety, small-mindedness, hoarding, and resentment. We are neither at peace with ourselves nor with others. And mortal smallness does not readily relinquish its grip on our souls.

But there is another message inside of us. Our spirits whimper, “God can transform all this dusty ore of mortality into the pure gold of eternity.”

Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord. (D&C 98:3, emphasis added)

In some way, quite unexpected and mysterious to mortals, God will take our disappointments, pains and transform them into blessings if we turn them over to Him. We may be tempted to cling to our grievances; He invites us to surrender them. We are inclined to dwell on our pains; He asks us to turn them over to Him. We embrace our injustices; He welcomes us to let Him heal them.”

-Excerpt from Big Acts in a Small World printed in Meridian Magazine.  To read the article in full click on the following link:

http://www.meridianmagazine.com/line-upon-line/article/894?&ac=1

 

Aug 23 10

Margaret E. Arcus Outstanding Family Life Educator Award

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Dr. H. Wallace (Wally) Goddard has been selected by the National Council on Family Relations to receive the Margaret E. Arcus Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. This prestigious award is the highest national award in family life education. It acknowledges Wally’s contributions to teaching families through workshops, books, web articles, TV shows, and videos. He is also the co-author of a textbook on family life education. The Arcus Award was established in 2003 to recognize outstanding family life educators. He is only the fourth person to receive the award since its establishment.

Wally has previously been awarded the Career Achievement Award by the National Family Life Specialists, the Outstanding Professional Skill Award (with his work team) by the Association for Communication Excellence, and Fellow status by the National Council on Family Relations.

The Arcus Award will be presented to him at this year’s NCFR annual conference in Minneapolis on November 4. He will give a special invited Award Address on November 5.

Jun 14 10

Education Week Schedule

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We’ve received the schedule for education week. Wally teaches the following times and classes:

August 17-20

The Complete Parent
Tuesday through Friday, 1:50-2:45 p.m., 446 Martin Building

Some Surprising Discoveries in Marriage
Tuesday through Friday, 3:10-4:05 p.m., 446 Martin Building

Apr 21 10

Wally’s Latest Book Release

by admin

 ISBN: 978-0-470-54761-8
Paperback
224 pages

THE MARRIAGE GARDEN: Cultivating Your Relationship so It Grows and Flourishes

Many enter marriage hoping it will always be as passionate and exciting as a great date – not unlike the relationships modeled on reality shows like “The Bachelor”.  But both research and experience suggest that marriage is more like a fruitful garden that requires the right tools, patient care, and sensible effort in order to achieve enduring success.

“A good marriage is as lush, rich, and satisfying as a great garden. But neither the good marriage nor the great garden happens without wise and consistent effort,” write authors Wally Goddard and James Marshall. “That is why it has required decades of intensive research on marriage to provide the key to building strong relationships.”

Using the metaphor of relationships as gardens meant for cultivation, nourishment,  and dedication, their book, THE MARRIAGE GARDEN: Cultivating Your Relationship so It Grows and Flourishes focuses on six, proven processes shown to make marriage blossom into a loving, long term source of sweet companionship. In a culture where individualism has run amuck, it takes great discipline to institute sensible principles in relationships.

Each chapter considers one process – Commit, Grow, Nurture, Understand, Solve, and Serve -and how it can be applied by those with a willing spirit. For instance, the chapter on understanding admits that gardening, like marriage, entails thorny times when couples get burned out in the sun and annoyed with the incessant bugs. But it’s during these difficult times that gardening partners learn to respond to each other’s pains rather than scold for not using the proper sunscreen or insect repellent. With this warm and upbeat approach, THE MARRIAGE GARDEN provides couples with tools to achieve a full and satisfying harvest.

Purchase book

Apr 2 10

BYU Education Week

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Teach one another words of wisdom- D & C 88:118

Come join Wally Goddard August 16-20 at BYU’s annual education week. Wally is one of the many incredible teachers invited to expound on the Scriptures this year. There will be over 1000 classes that will cover hundreds of topics, including classes designed specifically for youth. Your testimony and spirit will be strengthened as you feast on the words of God.  Keep checking back. Further details will be posted as available.

Feb 24 10

Marriage Enhancement Retreat

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Friday, March 26- Saturday, March 27, 2010

Inn on the Creek

375 Rainbow Lane, Midway, Utah

Nothing is more important, or more rewarding, than strengthening and nurturing your relationship with your sweetheart, but we often allow the distractions of daily life to sidetrack us from that objective. Whether you’re newlyweds or have celebrated your golden anniversary, it’s never too early, or too late, to improve the quality of your marriage. And what better time to experience a rebirth of love, connection, and meaning in your marriage than now?

This retreat offers a fast track to constructive change in a fun and relaxed environment. You can expect to experience profound, lasting results that will transform your marriage. At the retreat you will be given the tools you need to keep your marriage strong and productive long after you go home.

H Wallace Goddard Ph.D (Wally) is a Professor and Family Life Specialist with the Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service. He has created numerous family programs and a PBS television series. He is a popular columnist for Meridian Magazine, and the author of
Marriage Garden, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, as well as many books on the subject of Parenting.

Tickets are available and space is limited so register now at Inn on the Creek (435) 654-0892 or contact by email:

 kkirks@innoncreek.com

Price is $230 per couple. (Price includes all meetings, lodging at the Inn, breakfast and lunch on Saturday)

Non-lodging price: $130 per couple (includes meetings and luncheon only)

* $25 referral discount for bringing a friend.

May 6 09

How and Why to Strengthen Other Families

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“Defending the Family” (Tad Walch)
An informative article on a man’s experience in defending the family, Richard. G. Wilkins.  In conclusion: “If anyone would have told me that an important international conference would reaffirm the family, reject homosexual unions, and retreat significantly from former worldwide commitments to abortion, I would have called that person either an un-experienced optimist or a fool. That person, however, would have been neither. He simply would have been a person who knew that ‘with God all things are possible.’

“Affirming and Supporting the Sanctity of Life” (Vjollca Martinson and Andrew Tegeder)
Ideas to how we can preserve the sanctity of life and things to consider about abortion.  Four questions considered include: What is abortion? Why are elective abortions performed? What are the effects of abortion? and How can I support the sacredness of life?

“What Children Really Need: Another Way of Looking at Children’s Rights” (Allan Carlson)
Each child has Rights to a mother, a father, a home built on marriage, siblings, ancestors, posterity, religious faith, a healthy community, innocence, and tradition -scientific evidence and research to show that these are what children really need

“A Senator Speaks on Society, Law, and the Family” (Senator Gordon H. Smith)
Senator Gordon H. Smith’s views on morality in government and its impact on the families -and how to make a stand but still maintain respect

“Mothers Adopt Advertising Code” (BYU Marriage and Families Magazine)
Mothers advocate to advertisers to adopt a “Mother’s Code” in order to protect children from the negative effects of advertisements

“Scenes and Sayings from World Congress of Families II” (BYU Marriage and Families Magazine)
World leaders advocate for families – a combination of quotes, a statement of principles, and an abridgment of five talks that took place at the World Congress of Families II

“The Problem Isn’t Over-population: and the Future May Be Depopulation” (Nicholas Eberstadt) Predictions for a peaking of global population in the next century and a long-term decline thereafter

“Preservation of the Family is the Promotion of Peace” (Madame Jehan Sadat)
A voice speaking out for families and traditional values and a call to promote the family as an essential part of our society.
“Preservation of the family is the enactment of God’s will and is, therefore, the promotion of peace that brings the wholeness and happiness of life”

“Family Values Urged by Russian & Other Speakers” (BYU Marriage and Families Magazine) Leaders speak out at the 20 International Congress on Families in Moscow including the recurrent theme expressing the urgent need for action in a culture gone astray, action by parents and society to return to time-tested values to strengthen families

“Good News for Marriage: The Marriage Movement States it’s Principles” (BYU Marriage and Families Magazine)
An informative article on The Marriage Movement: A Statement of Principles and points on why this movement is so important

“Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty” (Elder Robert D. Hales)
“The key to strengthening our families is having the Spirit of the Lord come into our homes. The goal of our families is to be on the strait and narrow path.”

“Three Goals to Guide You” (President Thomas S. Monson)
“Your influence ranges far beyond yourself and your home and touches others all around the globe.”

“Creative Ways To Help Strengthen Marriages & Families”
Family Life Educator’s creative ideas to help strengthen marriage and the family

“For Family Life Educators” (University of Arkansas)
“Tools and resources for conducting a successful family life training”